saying what we mean, meaning what we say

Sometimes it's tough to get a family to say what it means, and mean what it says.

My family is the encylcopedia illustration of this. :)

So and so is being 'difficult.' That is English for 'we're fighting.' Or 'we're not talking.'
'You're keeping me out of your life' is English for 'I need to know everything.'
Umm...no, you don't.

'I don't know what's wrong with your father; he spent the last two days in bed' is English for 'he's being difficult and I don't feel like trying to figure out why.' It also means he has no items on his agenda that he feels compelled to get out of bed to do...but that's another issue.

Family. Sometimes you need 'em. Sometimes you can't live with 'em.

And sometimes they delight you. A. was selected for the draft for professional lacrosse, Chicago's team. And he put his name in to go to New Orleans to help rebuild franchises there. Steppin' out and steppin' up. I'm proud of him and excited for him.

Speaking of saying what you mean...Dr. P. has a new research fellow. He told me today that they've been discussing my case with the team (again) and when she arrived, I got a whole 25 seconds today. Dr. P is presenting me (again) at the team meeting on Thursday, to be considered for further surgery. Didn't actually ask me if I wanted further surgery...but hey, I have to keep remembering that it's all about her. And even though I was short of foie gras and whipped cream, her indulgences according to the 'Real Simple' interview, she was a little human this time.

Found out later that she's going on vacation over the holidays, won't be back until my next visit in the first week of January. So she must be the type who relaxes BEFORE the vacation. Anyway, it was nice to hear that it's a progress report of sorts, even if there probably won't be an answer until next January.

This 'survivorship' thing is a lot harder than it looks. And I do say what I mean, and mean what I say. Guess I'll just have to start blaming that on being direct (again) and not pass it off on the 'I'm dying; I can say anthing' that's been working for the last two years.

Cold and flu season

It started on Sunday, a little scratchy throat. I blamed it on the hair and the dust at the dog show.
But now it's Tuesday, and it's trying to be a full-blown cold. Stuffy head, fatigue, muscle weakness, dizziness. It had better not be the flu.

Erik wanted me to have a flu shot, but Dr. Personality insisted that it had to be in one of my 'off' weeks. Now I'm heading into treatment tomorrow with an upper respiratory infection trying to beat me, no flu shot on board, and I can't take anything. Kirshner is not going to be happy; I don't even know if he'll be able to treat me.

There's no fever (so far), so maybe he'll say it's a go for treatment. I don't want to get off schedule. I don't want a cold OR the flu. I haven't had either for three years, and now, suddenly, here I am all stuffed up. I haven't needed to take a sick day for chemo since I started back to work in July, but today I called in and said I'd be working from home, confining my germs to me alone.

These are the times that having cancer is hardest...can't take anything, just have to tough it out with turkey soup and peppermint tea and lots of water and rest. Okay, cold...bring it on. I'm ready for you.