Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Cold and flu season

It started on Sunday, a little scratchy throat. I blamed it on the hair and the dust at the dog show.
But now it's Tuesday, and it's trying to be a full-blown cold. Stuffy head, fatigue, muscle weakness, dizziness. It had better not be the flu.

Erik wanted me to have a flu shot, but Dr. Personality insisted that it had to be in one of my 'off' weeks. Now I'm heading into treatment tomorrow with an upper respiratory infection trying to beat me, no flu shot on board, and I can't take anything. Kirshner is not going to be happy; I don't even know if he'll be able to treat me.

There's no fever (so far), so maybe he'll say it's a go for treatment. I don't want to get off schedule. I don't want a cold OR the flu. I haven't had either for three years, and now, suddenly, here I am all stuffed up. I haven't needed to take a sick day for chemo since I started back to work in July, but today I called in and said I'd be working from home, confining my germs to me alone.

These are the times that having cancer is hardest...can't take anything, just have to tough it out with turkey soup and peppermint tea and lots of water and rest. Okay, cold...bring it on. I'm ready for you.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Casey, CD NA RE

Casey earned his RE (Rally Excellent) title on Thursday, and got his first RAE (Rally Advanced Combined) leg today. He came within a minute of qualifying in Open on Friday, too...that CDX (Companion Dog Excellent) leg is so close.

The only problem is that I don't think he can handle three classes (Open obedience, Rally ExB and Rally AdvB) in one day, for four days in a row. I know I can't handle it...my brain was mush after working him in Open and I blew both of his first RAE legs on Friday and Saturday because I couldn't concentrate.

So from now on, it's the two rally classes, or open...not both on the same day. It will take longer that way, but when I limit us to the two rally classes, he passes and I'm not exhausted. When I try to do all three, I make silly mistakes...miss a station, turn and 'pull' him out of the honor, etc. He can get this title easily, if I just do my part.

God, those letter look good after his name, though. And he had so much fun being at a dog show again. I had fun being at a dog show again...maybe for the first time in a long time.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Dr. Personality

I suppose I should say a few words about Dr. Personality.

She actually talked to me last week during my visit. Cycle #10, and she was actually friendly, interested even, in how I was doing and was there anything new. Very different from October's visit, when she told me that the magic cure for gaining weight was to "eat less and exercise more."

Gee, Doc, thanks for clearing that up; I'd have never gotten to that wisdom on my own two feet. I suppose I should be grateful that she's the only doctor for the last year who's thought a five-foot-tall woman shouldn't be gaining weight, shouldn't weigh 200 lbs. She has absolutely no idea what I know about nutrition, or that I've been moderating a weight-loss BBS since 2002. But why take time to understand your patient? Maybe that's a coping mechanism.

But anyhow, last week she was in a human place. She was happy that my bloodwork was good, my BP was normal, and my side effects are comparatively non-existent. I wonder if that will mean that she sends three pages of comments to Kirshner in her report. I still can't figure out how she could write him two pages, single spaced. She hasn't said that many words to me in our entire history.

Or maybe she's just more human for the early morning appointments.

Or maybe I am just getting better at remembering that "It's not about me...it's all about her."