Saturday, April 23, 2005

The view from the bleachers...

Bri plays lacrosse at Lemoyne, and even though it was cold and rainy, I didn't want to miss another home game. I've already missed in the rain a few weeks ago, and one two weeks ago on a truly beautiful Saturday. Unfortunately, that beautiful day was only three days after a treatment, and my blood pressure was too low and unpredicatable. I could barely get out of bed. So I decided to brave the run, planning to show up for the second half and the tailgate after.

The first quarter ran very long, and I got there in the middle of the 2nd quarter. It was great to see everyone, and at first I didn't really notice the cold. No rain, but it got colder the longer I watched. There's some cold-holding penetrating chill factor built into aluminum bleachers, I swear. So at the end of the game, after I brought in the brownies for the tailgate, when Bri said he had to go I was more than willing to sit in my warm truck and drive him up to his dorm.

Its so odd how many of the kids seem to know me after only meeting me once or twice--they're not even West Genny kids, but others I've met during the odd dinner or lunch with Bri. Bri's roommate Brad gave me a hug, and Chris Moore and I had this complete conversation on the merits of owning technical rainwear in CNY. They are a very bonded group, and I hope that Bri has found a comfortable place with all of them. I want Bri to enjoy Lemoyne, to settle into it and take as much out of it as A. has taken out of Springfield. I want him to succeed, I want for him all the best things. And I show up and sit on those aluminum chill rails masquerading as bleachers, even when he doesn't play, so that he'll know that someone is always there--always thinking good for him, always supporting him. I want him to understand that, and sometimes when we're alone like on the truck ride up to his dorm, I know that he gets all those good thoughts, and feels me holding them for him. My biggest fear is knowing that I won't be here for him for as long as he's going to need someone in his corner.

But I hope that he understands that I'm always watching him, even when I'm not in those bleachers.

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